Mature Oz's Scream Corner

Discussion in 'Journals' started by Ozferatu, Jul 16, 2015.

  1. Ozferatu

    Ozferatu Crazy But Not Wrong

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    I do rather need a place to vent about things and this looks like a good place. Mind you this will probably get political and i'm willing to bet I have some unpopular views but I also know I have some very popular views.

    Let's start this off with Caitlyn Jenner. She's being praised for being so courageous and open about her transition. She's being vocal about transgender rights and making a difference. ESPN is even giving her an award and calling her a hero.

    Let me make something perfectly clear: Caitlyn Jenner is not a hero.
    She only came out when she had the means to transition without issue, having the money and means to get it done rather easily and far enough removed from her family that they could not impede her decisions in anyway. On top of that she could drop off the face of the Earth and no one would really recognize her on the street. She could live a media free life if she decided to.

    The real heroes are the men and women who start their transition young, when their families don't support them and their classmates harass and abuse them for being trans. The people who make it through those hellos and come out alive and stronger for it. The people who never stop fighting for transgender rights without the money or influence to protect themselves from those that truly wish them harm.

    In short, Caitlyn Jenner can fuck off and the spotlight should be put on those who truly struggle and fight for what's right.
     
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  2. Ozferatu

    Ozferatu Crazy But Not Wrong

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    I've had this thought rattling around in my head for a while.Why do some people who are here every day for long periods of time take forever to post? I mean, I get it if you're busy and can't be online much and therefore can't post but this is different. It makes those people seem either extremely lazy or like they don't give a damn about the RP's they owe posts to. Again though I understand that even some of those people have a lot of RP's and get behind but when you go more than three days without posting for your RP, it's kind of a slap in the face to the gm and other players.

    Even if you've lost "inspiration" you should put SOMETHING up. You owe it to your fellow players and the GM. If you're going to join an RP and be lazy and late with your posts, just don't join it. Same goes for 1x1 RP's. If you go a week without posting you've fucked up.

    I dunno maybe this should go under some sort of courtesy thing...
     
  3. Ozferatu

    Ozferatu Crazy But Not Wrong

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    This one is a bit different.

    As a few of you know I was put through the worst emotional pain in my life. Abandoned, betrayed and then had my reputation completely trashed (found this out a few days ago.) by two people I loved and a friend of mine. When I say loved I mean well and truly loved. I would have died for them. The first two saved my god damn life when I was in the worst low of my life and were my owners, if you know anything about the S&M schtick. More or less nonsexual but the bond was deep. I helped them through their lows too. Stress, depression, all of it.


    The first one, the one who sorta kick started it all after i got jealous of one of her lovers should only be called the "dog fucker". That's how she lost her virginity and it is a hobby of hers. She just up and deleted me on all fronts. Skype steam, stopped following me on iwaku all without a word or an explanation. I did my damnedest to make things right. I apologized many times via pm and through mutual friends. I got nothing. It took a week for her to get back to me. She said she was done with me. I had gone too far apparently. Dog fucker and her girlfriend, let's call her Jimina had been sending me the mixed signals from hell about potential living arrangements in the future. For example, there was this thing with Jimina about being a sperm donor for them one day. Then it was a joke. Then it wasn't a joke. Then it was a half joke. Jimina even called me good dad material when referring to their future kids. They knew I had aspergers but really refused to clarify things like this until near the end. Dog fucker is a psych major. You can see how this makes what she did extra terrible. Anyway, I apologized yet again and tried desperately to explain everything but got no response.

    The second one, the friend of mine heretofore referred to as "the ferret" came to me offering his help during the abandonment stage. He asked what was going on and I told him everything. He used what I said out of context as a sort of the final nail in the coffin that was my ban from iwaku. Normally someone is warned or even suspended for a few days on their first offense but these three are friends with iwaku's lead admin so it was an instant perms ban. Don't you just love it when an admin let's personal drama get int he way of doing their fucking job? I will never forgive him but he does not occupy my thoughts much at all. Just errant thoughts when I think back to old RP's.

    The third, Jimina, tried to make some things right, paid me back for some of the things I had gotten them but she ultimately left too. Granted I had to highjack her steam and iwaku profile to get her fucking attention first, but it worked. During that time though, and even after she got her account back, we texted quite a bit. Staying friendly for a few months, however It was a situation of "it's him or me" sorta with dog fucker and Jimina. I totally get that and I don't hold any ill will towards her. Through a really shitty situation, one she even admitted had gone too far on ferret and dog fucker's part, she stayed honorable. Honestly a good person.

    A couple months have passed since Jimina and I said our final goodbyes, I even left the door open for her, should she ever want to make contact again, though I honestly doubted it would happen. I felt alright for a while. But recently I've been kept awake at night, thinking about dog fucker. It sounds funny in that wording but she was really special to me, even through all this shit. I realized I had gotten closure with Jimina, but not her. So today I had a good friend of mine reach out via Skype to dog fucker, see if things could be possibly fixed. I didn't expect them to be, but I was after a some talk and closure at the least.

    Dog fucker said no outright, trash talked me and attempted to sabotage my friendship with the person who was helping me reach out. I had also expected the outright no but not the attempted sabotage. It finally made me realize that dog fucker, while she may have saved my life, was a toxic, worthless cunt who should not be in my life. It wasn't the closure I was seeking but it did the job damn well. The only feelings i have left for dog fucker are hateful ones. Not the preoccupying hate that slowly consumes you but rather the cold, patient, calculating tranquil fury that hides in the back of your mind, waiting for an opportunity to strike back. Unlikely to ever go anywhere, but not debilitating.

    So, here I an laying in bed at 1AM, wide awake and venting all this in a semi public manner when I have to be awake in five hours for classes. Why exactly am I doing this? Mostly because it's therapeutic but it also carries an extra bonus of being here for anyone wondering just what the fuck happened to me if it's ever mentioned. It should also remind people that closure helps quite a bit. Hopefully it will encourage others to vent how they're feeling, even when it's related to horrible thongs and sensitive subjects. It might also go a long way towards explaining why I get sick of people's shit really fast these days.

    Now, I'm going to try to catch some fucking sleep so I don't fall asleep in class.
     
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  4. Ozferatu

    Ozferatu Crazy But Not Wrong

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    I heard someone say today that everything is a matter of opinion and she meant everything. My first statement refuting that was simply "Math." she said "fuck math" as if it was completely irrelevant. I pointed out that without math we would still, quite literally, be in the stone age. She responded with "Not necessarily."

    That line of thinking is fucking insanity even without the math angle. There is right and there is wrong in this world god dammit. Laws exist for a reason. Granted some laws are outdated or oppressive in some places but the rest of the world tends to condemn them. To anyone who honestly believes there are no facts in this world and that right and wrong are entirely subject to opinion; Fuck you. That is the single WORST mentality to have on the planet.
     
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  5. Ozferatu

    Ozferatu Crazy But Not Wrong

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    Short one.

    I've noticed people are going out of their way to avoid the word "normal" in a lot of cases. The biggest case of this is the invention of the term "cisgendered." It means your gender matches your sex. So, really, being cisgendered is being normal. Yes this means trans and gender fluid people are abnormal but being abnormal isn't inherently a bad thing.

    Can we please stop tiptoeing around things like this? I wouldn't be surprised if someone was taken to court over the use of the words normal and abnormal in the near future.
     
  6. Ozferatu

    Ozferatu Crazy But Not Wrong

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    It dawned on me the other day that our culture is a bit fucking bonkers when it comes to emotional extremes.

    We toss around words like hate, loathe, and despise like they're nothing. Whether it's towards people, things or even ideas, people shrug it off.

    When it comes to positive extremes we're insane though.We can toss around love, and adore a lot when it comes to things and concepts but we tend to freak the fuck out when we're told by someone that they love us. The hell people? Why do we hide from positive things?
     
  7. Ozferatu

    Ozferatu Crazy But Not Wrong

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    Today's likely going to be a double dose of politically fueled rage.

    I'm going to touch on "progressive" movements first. Mostly it's the people who claim to be for equality while demonizing anyone who doesn't agree with them completely, including people they claim to represent. The worst offenders are the Social Justice Warriors. Pathetic, toxic, delusional cunts on a level that actually exceeds Jihadists. Jihadists, at the very least, allow you to "repent" and if you do, they stop coming after you. SJW's? They'll trash you for opinions you held six years ago. The worst part though is that they're blatant hypocrites but they're so god damned delusional they can't see it. I'd like to provide more credible proof but most of the Twitter accounts and blogs with the more extreme views have been banned. The more I dig to find things the angrier I get so I'm just going to link two things. One displaying the insanity of SJW's and the other their hypocrisy. If anyone doubts that these people actually exist, hang around tumblr for a while, you'll see them. The worst of them break the law by Doxing websites that host opinions they don't like or that have offended them personally. Apparently laws are only for protecting them and not others.
    Insanity
    Hypocrisy
    These lunatics are not for equality, no matter what they say. They want straight/white/cis/males to be at the bottom of the heap simply because they're straight/white/cis/males. What REALLY depresses me though is that these fuckwits are gaining steam. Last thing I'll say about them is that they believe that men cannot be raped. Because reasons.

    The next batch are the people who claim to represent a group while simultaneously undermining them and holding them back. The worst offender here is Anita Sarkeesian. Her big thing is sexism in gaming. Let's skip past the part where she's demanding control over the creative processes of literally thousands of people and go straight to her batshit insane claims. First off she says she isn't a fan of excssive violence or sexuality in video games yet also says some of the games she's beaten and are her favorites are games with excessive violence in sexuality. To prove she has no god damn idea what she's talking about she played the newish hitman game and claimed it encouraged the player to be violent towards women even as the game was actively penalizing her for doing so. Then there's her bit about the controls for Mirror's Edge being "too complex for women." Add that to the fact that she and Zoey Quinn, another woman who embodies everything wrong with feminism these days, and you have a very loud, influential voice in charge of things. Not. Good.

    The third type are the truly misinformed. They're just either too easily swept up in things and/or too lazy to do their own research. Just as dangerous as the other types because there are a LOT of them these days.

    The fourth are the people playing politics but that requires a separate rant on a whole clusterfuck of a situation in Europe. I'll wire that tonight, probably.
     
  8. Ozferatu

    Ozferatu Crazy But Not Wrong

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    The fourth group, the politicians, are the ones I fucking despise the most. They know full well what harm they're doing but keep going anyway because they know or even just THINK it will get them votes and keep them in power. Right now, I'm looking pretty god damn hard at Europe. The governments who just took in the refugees from Syria and other areas to be "altruistic" and seem like better people than the "heartless" right wingers. Yeah, it worked. briefly. Then crime spiked, and eventually culminated in the horrific events in Cologne, Germany on new years. For those of you thinking that the events were exaggerated or even made up, they weren't. Catcher lives very close to Cologne and told me all about it (She also said she didn't mind me citing her as a source). Fear is rampant after new years and it's entirely justified. The rational people, the ones labeled heartless, racist, islamophobic, saw this coming and worse. Sadly it's likely to get worse unless the hammer gets dropped. France is already there, thankfully. The worthless pieces of human filth that play these games for the sake of PR are some of the worst human beings alive. It's one thing to be delusional, misinformed or even just dumb but these, the politicians, know what's really going on and act against the interest of their people for their own personal gain. It. Is. Disgusting.

    The bottom line here folks is that we all need to stop letting petty fucking name calling prevent us from critical thinking. We can't let the loudest, most insane parts of our society dictate how we should speak, how we should act and how we should fucking thing and feel. There will always be issues where someone will play the race, gender, or religion card to support their argument and we need to stand up and call them on their shit. It is ESPECIALLY important on the big issues. That's my mediocre segue into the nightmarish clusterfuck of a situation centered around the Middle East.

    Yeah, ISIS is expanding and displacing a lot of people. It needs to be put down but it's not being put down. There's also the Syrian civil war and that's displaced more people. That sucks. I get it. But when those refugees showed up on our doorstep demanding refuge we needed to sit down and really think. Sadly that wasn't done and the petty name calling and manipulative fuckstick politicians made the call before the people really had a chance. Tens of thousands of people from a notoriously unstable and fanatical area with an alien culture that demands expansion have just been let in. That's a bad idea on a regular day but when there are multiple groups within that same area hellbent on the destruction of western culture and you have little to no means of doing a background check on any of them, it's a suicidal idea. Making the situation worse, they've barely even bothered to keep an eye on them or keep them contained. Yes, contained. It's disturbingly similar to plague control. If you're stupid enough to let them in you should quarantine them. Make sure they have food and water and are safe but keep them contained until you can either figure out a way to screen them properly or until they go back home. The lack of containment has already lead to too many terrible things. Paris and Cologne for those of you living under rocks.

    Now I will entertain some petty name calling to prove my point. My ideas sound racist and islamopphobic and, to a degree, they are. But they are beyond reasonable. I suggest these seemingly harsh measures because of the growing extremist sects. Plenty of bleeding heart liberals will say that not all Muslims are terrorists and they're right. The problem is that more than enough of them are. We've seen it. It isn't even because they're Muslim extremist sects either. It's just because they're extremists driven by religion and an alien culture. If we rewound the clock all the way back to the crusades I, as a white Christian, would have told the Arabs that they were entirely right to be afraid of Europeans and Christianity. We did some truly horrific shit back then. Incidentally so did the Arabs but that's not my point. When ANY group of easily discerned people has a significant extremist sect you need to treat all of them with caution and a bit of fear. You do not attack them all or treat them poorly, that would be wrong. You just need to treat them with the proper caution to keep you and your people safe.

    This seems to be building up to a third rant specifically about how to handle the current Crisis in the Middle East so I'm just going to stop here.
     
  9. Ozferatu

    Ozferatu Crazy But Not Wrong

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  10. Ozferatu

    Ozferatu Crazy But Not Wrong

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    This isn't a rant so much as it is an update.

    A few of you know I'be had some medical issues lately. Mostly the constant, unending fatigue.

    Met with a specialist today and he says it's very likely a pituitary issue. More tests to come but there's like, a 2% chance it's a tumor causing it. Cue immense paranoia.
     
  11. Ozferatu

    Ozferatu Crazy But Not Wrong

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    LET'S HEAR IT FOR the TWO PERCENT!

    Yeah, I got a brain tumor. 3mm near my pituitary gland. They don't know if it's benign or cancerous though. Huzzah :/
     
  12. Ozferatu

    Ozferatu Crazy But Not Wrong

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    This. Just this. The first minute covers exactly how I feel lately.
     
  13. Ozferatu

    Ozferatu Crazy But Not Wrong

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    Well between landing a jerb and Envy coming back I'd say this week as been, over all, pretty fucking good.
     
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  14. Ozferatu

    Ozferatu Crazy But Not Wrong

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    The shooting in Orlando was a tragedy. I'm just sitting here waiting for the next series of political spins on terrorism and gun control as well as whatever smaller groups try to use this to further their goals. It'll lead to a proper rant within a few days, I'm certain.


    In the mean time, here's this:
     
  15. Ozferatu

    Ozferatu Crazy But Not Wrong

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    Full rant still building but I found this and it is simultaneously hysterical and sadly true.

    [​IMG]
     
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  16. Ozferatu

    Ozferatu Crazy But Not Wrong

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    I was building up a solid rant but god damn did Milo put my thoughts into words live yesterday. He shows up at twelve minutes, fast forward to it. Especially the LGBTQ folks.



    I should remind you though that Milo is gay and one of the most brilliant speakers out there these days.
     
  17. Ozferatu

    Ozferatu Crazy But Not Wrong

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    Not a rant. More like a life update.

    So I've got some big things in my near future.

    First off I'm helping one of my best friends move from Portland Oregon to a small town in Maine. My town. After that we're getting an apartment together meaning I'm moving out from where I've lived for 23 years. I won't be moving too terribly far from home but it's still a major change.
     
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  18. Ozferatu

    Ozferatu Crazy But Not Wrong

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    Y'know I was going to go on a rant about how we're going nuts with the increasing number of genders and then I found this.
    I love this woman.
     
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  19. Ozferatu

    Ozferatu Crazy But Not Wrong

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    Alright, everyone who's panicking? Calm. The fuck. Down. I'll try to take this point by point, though I may forget some things. Afterwards I'll explain how and why Trump won this.

    LGBT people terrified Trump will overturn the SCOTUS ruling on gay marriage? Stop. Right now. He does not have that power. Even if the President and ALL of congress unanimously wanted it gone, it would not happen unless SCOTUS wanted it to. The late Judge Scalia was a conservative and was against said ruling but it passed. Even if an absurdly conservative Judge was put in his place it would still not be enough to overturn things. A liberal-ish Judge would have to be replaced with a conservative Judge, in addition to Scalia being replaced with a conservative judge for there to be even a small chance of SCOTUS's gay marriage ruling to be overturned. Why only a small chance? SCOTUS rarely ever goes back on a ruling.

    Transgenders, specifically, terrified of things? Absolute worst case the subject is left to each state's discretion. So pretty much the status quo.

    Those worried about Roe V Wade being overturned? See; Gay Marriage.

    For everyone now convinced that half of America is racist, sexist, homophobic, etc? Stop that. Trump got Half the female vote, about the same as Obama and Romney, and not insubstantial support from minorities and LGBT. More than any republican in history. A lot of people supporting Trump were doing so because Hillary utterly terrified them and Trump only upset them and they're from all walks of life. Others saw him as a jackass with a good heart who was going to focus on bringing jobs back to our country. The latter is why he won Michigan.

    On the subject of immigration and its relatives? Yeah, we'll probably see a severe restriction on Muslim immigration and a serious crackdown around the border. Whether or not we build a wall remains to be seen but INS and the border patrol are about to see major boosts in funding. But let's be real, even banning all Muslims from entering the country for a while won't harm any of our citizens and a government's first obligation is to its own people. At WORST Hispanic and Muslim citizens will see some extra scrutiny from our government but no one's going to die or be thrown in prison for just being Muslim or Hispanic.

    The refugee situation? Yeah, they're fucked. Not our problem though. America can't fucking take care of everyone whose country has gone to shit nor should we have to. It's insane. Especially when they're coming from a region as complicated as the Middle East.

    And, for those of you insane enough to think Trump is going to become a dictator? Have you honestly looked at things? Like really? He doesn't want to even TOUCH the second or first amendment and that's what a dictator would need to do first. In fact he might want to ensure their security. I mean Christ, we've called the last two presidents Hitler and neither were even CLOSE so can we please stop with this nonsense?

    On the last(?) subject, healthcare? That issue is going to take work from EVERYONE. ACA isn't working, in fact it was going to get worse so it being torn down isn't the worst thing in the world. It's the most complex issue we have right about now and it's mostly because DC is a clusterfuck. This is the only issue I'm a tad uncertain about but there's no reason to panic over it.

    Still wondering just how Trump won? Stay tuned.
     
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  20. Ozferatu

    Ozferatu Crazy But Not Wrong

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    There's an absurd amount of people still asking the question "How did Trump win?!" and it's kinda sad. I'm here to analyze things for you while you continue to scream and pout and drink yourself to death.

    The biggest reason goes back to late July. The Democratic National Convention. Hillary Clinton became the Democratic nominee. It was clear at the time the DNC (The committee, not the convention) itself had worked with her to make sure this happened instead of staying neutral as they should have. This was likely the only reason Bernie lost out but he decided not to fight it and splinter his party even further. Corruption aside, Hillary did have a good amount of support but it was mostly from people who wanted the first woman president more than they wanted the certainty of a Trump defeat. Between that and the blatant corruption of the DNC Bernie lost all chance to become the nominee. He could have fought it, easily, but it would have splintered his party something fierce. He must have figured Hillary would be easier to wrangle than Trump so he made a deal with the devil and backed her after that but the Democrats still splintered.

    Had Bernie won the nomination, as he should have, he would have utterly and completely destroyed Trump. They talked about landslide victories on both sides but this would have truly been one. Trump and Hillary both caused quite a bit of splintering within their parties, we'll get into Hillary more later, and it's one of the reasons things were so close on election day. Had Bernie won the nomination there would have been no splintering. The Democrats would have rallied behind Bernie. In addition to that Bernie was preaching a lot of the same things Trump was but was and didn't have everyone and their brother crying racist, sexist, etc so that would have been even stronger support for him. Ultimately it was the Democratic party that fucked liberals and anti-Trumpers over. Remember that. I should also note Bernie would have gotten my vote. His heart's always in the right place, even if is head isn't.

    There are a few smaller reasons as well. The media and so many others throwing around toxic labels and generalizations about those not supporting Hillary. The racist, sexist, Islamophobic bullshit. They overplayed that card and it brewed a backlash. A lot of people on the fence looked at things and said "Well one guy is vowing to work for me, regardless of my standing and the other is slinging insult after insult for not having their back." Human nature kicked after that.

    Hillary being attached to NAFTA is effectively what won Trump Michigan, Maine's second district, and a few other places. NAFTA fucked over the American workers and good ol' Bill Clinton signed off on that. People also saw that she had supported TPPA, NAFTA but for the west coast pretty much, and said "Oh fuck that."

    Then there's the E-Mail issue. She's still in some shit for this even though the FBI "cleared" her. Even if there was zero criminal intent, and god damn it's hard to excuse a lot of the things involved unless you're entirely delusional or horribly misinformed about our legal system, in the whole mess she, at the very least, should have lost all security clearance. People have lost clearances and gone to prison for less. Much less. Most veterans and anyone who knew a damn thing about the issue personally pulled their support preeeeetty much immediately. The only military support she had was from those she paid off or were utterly and irrationally terrified of Trump. Everyone else went to Trump or third party.

    The last thing to note about Hillary's base breaking is that her funding came from all over the place and a lot of it was shady. The Clinton foundation has the same problems and has lead to the "Pay to play" accusations which, if we're honest, is likely true. She even took at least one million dollar donation and didn't tell the State department about it which is actually a pretty big god damn deal given her position and the Ethics Agreement she signed.

    There was just WAY too much shit around Hillary for the Democrats to rally effectively, let alone anyone on the fence.

    The last thing to look at regarding the question of how Trump won is the electoral college. Hillary did win the popular vote by about two hundred thousand yet still lost the election. This isn't the first time this has happened either. The most recent was back in 2000, when Dubya beat Al Gore. People complained about it then but just forgot about it until they didn't agree with it again. The downside of a short attention span. A lot of people right now are petitioning for members of the electoral college to change their votes because of the popular vote which is utter fucking insanity. "Hey, can you ignore the will of your state's people because we think you should?" Fuckin' lunatics. Each member of the college is a representative of their state's will and, while they DO have the power to ignore it, they should never forget this. I'm just going to link a video for a decent explanation of how and why the electoral college does its thing.



    Yeah, pure democracy is a bad thing. They either end up in tyranny or civil war or both. Just look at pre-empire Rome. It was a god damn mess.

    The last thing I'll say here is for the Californians out there. Especially those signing the petition to leave the United States. It won't happen. Your state government will likely look at it and say "Yeah you're angry and I get that but this is lunacy" or they will themselves be possessed by the lunacy as well and actually try it. Should that happen you'll all find out just what it's like to be on the opposite side of the United States Military. There is far too much infrastructure in your state for the US to simply allow you to leave. Both Military and civilian. So please, please don't push the issue any further. It'll only end in you being crushed and the entire world crying.
     
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